The Void Space

The hardest part to deal with in any break-up is the void that’s left when each party goes their own way. There’s a tremendous amount of investment for any successful* relationship. This investment in time [and money] always depreciates and nosedives when the end nears. You can take neither back. The reverse is true for the investment in emotional energy. This investment into the relationship can appreciate in value over time and can store rewards, similarly to a credit card paid on-time each month. When the relationship runs its course, emotional investment declines until it reaches bottom. Because emotional energy is not bound by any laws of physics or mathematics and belongs solely in the realm of the conscientious, emotional lag can pull this type of investment below bottom (beneath the investment energy at the beginning of the relationship) into an allotment of negative emotional energy that is commonly called heartbreak. Heartbreak can last an undetermined amount of time. There is an unproven mathematical equation describing the time invested into a relationship and a reflecting proportionate amount of reciprocal time to relationship mourning, but considering that I already put forth that emotional energy has no basis in mathematics, there is no correct way to determine period length of heartbreak.

In some cases, it is not the heartbreak that plagues the loss of relationship. Heartbreak wanes quickly, [perhaps] because the victim can grip at his/her bitterness as a result of a shot to the ego, rather than genuine heartbreak and the emotional tie is undone. But the void space still remains. That person forged a collective identity in that relationship. They would be the first to call, to hang with, always in the thoughts and plans. When you needed advice, concern, or sympathy, they would be there. Maybe this is our biggest need as a social species. Physical intimacy is not usually a heavily time-laden constraint and that void can therefore be replaced without difficulty. It usually takes only a smile, a clean shirt, pants that don’t smell [maybe a few fingertips of hair forming cream], and an ounce of trust. But the other voids cannot be replaced with such ease. It’s funny, the things that make humans most jealous in relationships are sometimes the easiest to replace. How hard is it to get advice from someone who really cares? Who is going to listen to your plight with the same interest as the one you are romantically inclined to? Friends are the pillow to your fall, but there is no platonic friend that balances out the loss. Usually new activities and meeting new people facilitate a quick turnaround, but it only takes a moment of retrospection before these voids can activate old emotional scars.

*Relationships that can stand for a time on their own merit. Does not necessarily mean leading to marriage or permanence.